I was about to write something profound, but I forgot.

Hello, destiny. Please find me. Hit me in the head. Kick me in the arse. I just need some affirmation that there is hope for me...

And that's as "profound" as I can get, I guess.

Sidenote: I love Nicole from ANTM cycle 13! Awkward but a beautiful person inside and out. And her auburn hair is lovely! (Will auburn look good on Asians? I wonder.)

And I just did admit that I still watch ANTM, however overrated it is. (At least it's not The Hills.)

I hate that I am mediocre. I had potential. I KNOW I have it. But where has it gone?

Reading one of my best friend's blog made me realize that. Haven't talked to her in a while till last week, and my my. She's got it going for her. I'm proud and a tad jealous at the same time. Wish I had her spirit.

No more excuses. I must find my own happyness.

---

How do you be a bit more assertive and not look like a a) ditzy immature child, b) emotionless robot or c) cold menopausal woman?

Seems like I tend to be either of those three each time I am at work. Sheesh. If only crazy conversations with my blog (or my head) translated well into real life, that would make things easier.

---

I must be honest with myself. (I will write this down haha.)

I have been with others, but why not me?

---

Plants vs. Zombies - addicting. But(!!!) I'm wasting my time. I borrowed fitness books and an Accounting supplement to prepare myself for "Operation: Level-Up!". I can stay in co-op with a B-. But I must. Persist. And. Aim. Higher! Self, plz cooperate. I want to to stay in co-op... *sob*

Breathe. Relax. I still have a month.

---

Self, just shut up and suck it up.

---

On the agenda of "Operation: Level-Up!"

1) Draw up a diet and fitness regimen that I can stick to. (GI Diet + Old-school cardio, weights, and stretches. Got some books for that today yay!)
2) Learn the "5-Minute Face" (HAHAHA yes. I want to learn make-up. I did nails this week, so that's a step closer?)
3) Sleep by 11pm at the latest.
4) Sell my unused stuff, or just donate them.
5) Curb spending (lol).
5) Write this on paper. Heck, write on paper dammit!

I shall wash up now and prepare for bed. Toodles!

Dammit. I hate you, brain. Why are you so paranoid?

And why do I feel like I'm getting nowhere fast?

The summer heat's getting to me...fuck.

Happy Birthday memren Vica! :D (Sooo what are you planning with your other half? I'm guessing...ogling at Hugh Jackman. And are you bringing EA along? HAHAHA~!)

Anyway, enjoy your birthy-birthday. :3

----

Oookay, so I called the co-op people. (Yes, I got a job! YAY!) But here's to hoping my GPA is still...manageable... (PRIS ECON FINANCE 500 passs meeeh. @_@) Ba't ang tagal kasi ng final grades?! I already got my 407 grade, an A- so yay! (I just hate that minus but as long as it's an A I'm happy!)

I start Wednesday at 9:30am to 4:30apm, which isn't bad at all. Regular hours would be from 9-4:30pm which is totally. Totally. Manageable. Now, I just have to brush up on some tech skillz and we're good to go! (And also, I can still compromise with my part-time job manager and yeah, we'll see how that works out... I may/may not quit being a part-time sales associate. Then again, the other girls will need some summer hours so...)

I am nervy and psyched about starting co-op. So yeah. I should thank my references later. (Thanked two of them already. Si Renee na lang...)

Welcomez to the real world, bbz. Must prep for La Vie now...(and not be late.)

---

Phoenix is awesoooome! New album = awesooome.

I'm writing this hours after the Flight of the Conchords concert. And I am still reeling from utter happiness of seeing them (albeit from far, far away) live.

( Who likes to rock the party? )

And oh, PICTURES! They are going here: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=774775436&ref=profile#/album.php?aid=247395&id=774775436 (It's on FB. I'm too lazy to post them on Multiply just yet.)

So...

- I have no co-op job yet. I've applied to fucktonnes of jobs and only 3 replied, all of which I a) screwed up the interview due to extreme anxiety, and b) am obviously under-qualified. I have saved 25 jobs from Research In Motion, applied to 5 of them already, and have applied to other jobs on PlacePro. So far there are a handful of which I am qualified in RIM, but I do wishwishwish that they'd call back and get me right away! I don't care if I have to travel 2 hours back and forth Waterloo - I JUST WANT A CO-OP JOB. Please, Lord. Forgive me for all my sins and grant me a co-op job for the summer... T______T PLEAAASE. I wanna remain in the co-op program... *tears*

- "Flight of the Conchords" is finished. Done. No more plans for future seasons, as of late.The finale wasn't that great, btw. I wish it'd gone out with a "bang" but I can see why they want to get Season 2 over and done with. Their creative muse seems to have taken a vacation or something. (I guess fame just isn't their thing?) Nonetheless, I still love them and am still pissed I wasn't able to get hold of tickets to their Toronto shows in April.

- Speaking of cancellations, Passion Pit canceled their Canadian shows for reasons I don't know. DAMMIT. Just when I was looking forward to them playing Toronto, esp. since I'm gonna miss out on FOTC! Stupid Passion Pit...why do this to me?

- Junjou Romantica Vols. 10 and 11 scans aren't updated yet. (It's my current obsession, picking up where I left off (Vol. 4, I think) from last year. A bit of a warning for the newbies: if you hate Yaoi (a.k.a. BoyxBoy love), don't even read it. I love it. Apart from being a yaoi fan, yes. I'm secretly a sucker for somewhat unconventional romances. Story of my life, people. Now moving on...

- I haven't started on my outline for the final Communication paper yet. HEHEHEHE. Now that's my fault. And oh, I only have two weeks before classes end, and have a backlog of readings to do. HAHAHAHA. Karma, karma, karma chameleon. You're such a bitch this year...

- I said "bitch" to myself too many times today. I guess that's better than the F word, but as Bret said "It's making me sexist...bitch."

- I'm still looking for a cheap gym I can enroll to this summer. My goal is to lose 20 pounds in...half a year? (I guess that's realistic right now). I want to start after finals! I don't really want to join the Ryerson gym despite how cheap it is (only $100+ for a year), because it'll just aggravate my paranoia (and I heard it's always packed with machine-hogging beefcakes, but it's mostly my paranoia.). As much as I'd like to enroll in a ladies' gym (FitnessOne - cheap and no-frills), I'm sure I'll stop going after a few weeks because I have no gym buddy. And I also promised my brother we'll workout together. So...yeah. I have to ask around for info about that...

- I don't think 2009 is going well. It'll get better, sure. I'm positive on that. But this is definitely not my favourite year, I've decided. Mostly because of the circumstances caused by the shitty economy. (Money really makes the world go 'round, no?)

Wow, I missed blabbing here. Haha. I should do this more often.

As I woke this morning
when all sweet things are born,
a robin perched on my window sill
to greet the looming dawn.
He sang his sweet song so sweetly
and paused for a moment's lull.
I gently raised the window
and crushed his fucking skull.

- Elvis Presley

~~~

Reminds me of Roald Dahl's short stories.

Dark and creepy...and yet it's made of awesome.

I like it!

Just thought I would type it down in case I want to look back to it.

And I will therefore skip the FOTC finale tonight. I'm rather sad about that. >.>

Anywho, I need a change. A vacation, too. But I am unfortunately not entitled to that right now for reasons that I have a) no money to speak of (I have yet to get a refund of that overpaid summer school tuition...), and b) I have no time (I'm taking dreaded Accounting 406 in the summer again, since I decided to drop it this sem. Hoho. I now have a 4-for-4 record for semesters where I have dropped at least one subject. And guess what kind of subjects I've dropped? Yep, Math-related business courses. The business logic of it escapes me, sadly.)

I wish I knew where my life was going. God, give me a sign...some reassurance that everything will work itself out.

I need motivation, period.



Can I please have Hyuk then?

Thanks to Karen who posted this pretty picture on Plurk.

*sigh* I need a life. Must. Live. More. Now. Na!

I've dug a deep hole that will serve as a place to energize or my burial grave for this sem.

I hope it's the former.

Please please please God, help stupid moi with Accounting... T^T (Bakit kasi kelangan ko pa nun e IT naman ako?! Huhu...Heeeelp~)

Aww man. I was sort of expecting it (thanks to the ominous title of Season 2's last episode "Evicted" - see Wikipedia for that bit). The pair have also been hinting about it in interviews, although that could always change...

But is it *really* the final season? Makes me sad now. :C They could be going for a similar ending as in their BBC 2 radio show of the same title (in 2006), but man...I'm still bummed.

Maybe fame isn't their cup of tea, really. They strike me more as "artists" rather than "celebrities" for some reason. (You can tell I've been watching/reading about them for too long haha~) I guess they also want to do other things.

For your viewing pleasure, YOU must watch the promotional ads/teasers of "Gentlemen Broncos" (directed by "Napoleon Dynamite" creator Jared Hess, no less! That movie and FOTC kind of have the same, "autistic" humour going on. :D), slated for release THIS YEAR! XDDD:


To inspire myself, I turn to myself. Chevalier sounds like Sean Connery. XD


Hmm...*cough* LOLOLOL~


And do check out Bret pre-FOTC - his alter-ego Video Kid and former band, Black Seeds (if you're interested in reggae-ish music). I'm not a big fan of that genre myself, but "DJz Girlfriend" from Video Kid has an awesome vibe to it (Someone needs to post a full version of this video!):



(I do sound like a Mel-ish fangirl now, don't I? :P If you want some uploads on FOTC, let me know. Let's spread the FOTC love~<3)

Anyway, I'll cut it out now. I could've bored you to death with my fangirling. XD And now I have to study for Accounting. :C (I HAVE to pass the final so that I can avoid it for the rest of my university career! Please please please pray me for. T^T)

That's how long we've been here.

That was quick.

Wow.

Here's to a better transition to the fourth and subsequent years ahead~

And I'm itching. BUT I have one more midterm for tomorrow to prepare for. Add to that sleep-deprivation...

And then I have a group project to do after midterms tomorrow. And some online homework to pass by Sunday...

And work on Friday...

UGH. I WANT MY SUGALUMPS. T^T

*is suffering from withdrawal symptoms*

P.S. It also annoys me that I passed by Massey Hall today after going to church to see "FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS, APRIL 21 & 22" outside. Argh...I'm always the last to know about things like this. T^T

I still hope there are still some tickets. *sigh* LOLsryrabidfangirlrant.

[/end]

Feels like being stuck in the middle of a (is that right?) crossroads or something.

Yeah, I GET that this I.T. thing isn't for me. But I'm determined to ride it out because all I fucking want is a diploma to prove that I'm done with University.

Ugh. I'm also hating co-op now. Only two companies out of the n-number I've applied to have replied. And somehow, the interviews always turn out to highlight my "noob-ness" in the technical department (i.e. programming and the shit), and my "affinity" for something else entirely.

Well, SORRY for not being a technical bitch. I *actually* went into this program hoping to learn technical shit, but I'm not liking it that much. And I don't know why you even bothered to call me if that's all that you're gonna shove on my face. I don't KNOW why I even signed up for the co-op program, because it's not helping me! Aside from worrying about the GPA, I'm worrying that I won't end up getting a co-op placement. AT ALL! I mean, I guess I can skip one term but...if I can't get one right now, what are the chances of me getting one in the Fall? If I miss two terms, then I'm off the program (which, I guess, isn't too bad, since I'm itching to get away from school already...).

But I'm STILL determined to stick it through because FUCK. I'm halfway done! And I just want a fucking diplomaaaa. T__T

(Although now that I think about it, maybe I should switch. But I'm afraid I'll change my mind if I go into something else entirely and spend all my life in school! That's the worst-case scenario. It would be the best situation if I were a bloody millionaire, however, because then, I can do whatever I want and not worry about time + money... But shit. Shit shit shit I feel so dumb...)

Hmp. If I don't get a job for this summer, I'll switch back to the regular program and just try get out of school as quick as possible. As for a job...well, we'll work something out.

The future certainly freaks me out. (And it's really hard to be paranoid and impatient. *sigh*)

I'm still crossing my fingers, hoping that George Brown calls me for an interview (and accept me for the job, eventually). Please please please help me, God. T^T

Good news!

Facebook has temporarily reverted to their old Terms of Service while they are addressing the loopholes of the new one.

Let's hope they stand by their words and cover all bases with the new TOS.

But just in case, be careful what you put out there on FB.

It's better safe than sorry, after all.

I LOVE FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS! \^O^/

"Unnatural Love" is prolly the best episode so far.

Andandand it was directed by Michel Gondry!

Andandand the songs were great.

Andandand the story was great!

Andandand I <3 Jemaine.

And Bret.

But this episode was now Jemaine-centric.

Andandand Poor Big J...

And oh, love. *sigh*

No wonder it struck a chord in me. :3

(I'm gonna watch it again teehee!)

[/end fangirling]

READ THIS!

Got the link from reading Perez Hilton (haha).

They're fucking smart. Fuckers. They certainly capitalized on the fact that hardly anyone reads their Terms of Service. (And yes, I feel duped. Who likes that feeling?) Not only can they use your stuff for their own benefit even after you quit (notorious or nobodies alike); it's a total invasion of privacy. And I HATE THAT.

What the fuck, Facebook. You suck! You now belong to my list of annoyances in the world...

I wonder if Friendster and Multiply's like this too? I hope not.

Now I really want to quit (did that with my first account), but that also means you're disconnecting from your network of friends, colleagues, and family. (It's hard to have the Internet as your sixth sense...) And even if I quit, my shit's still on their server. Damn.

So as a form of protest, please join: People Against the New TOS and all other related Facebook groups (via the comment section of the link above). And quit updating anything personal on the site. (At least you didn't give your soul to the service.)

And If you have no Facebook account as of yet, DON'T JOIN. EVER.

Happy Hearts Day everyone! <3 (I think I'm going to make this a series for kicks hehehe)

===

( An Ode To Chris )

===

Sooo Friday the 13th came and went... Started off really awful (Accounting midterms spelling D-O-O-M-! + busy @ work + messy store = stress galore!). But my coworkers and I ended up eating dinner at Hooters (yes, Hooters) and had a grand time!

T'was fun trading crack stories and getting weird stares from people thinking a group of girls at Hooters meant us being "easy" (one guy actually walked up to a coworker, faked asking about the time, and saying "You're sexy!" to her. The same dude tried hitting on a waitress but eventually left without ordering anyway. Wtg, loser.).

And most of all, it was good not stressing out over the bleakness of my academic future and just talking to people. Haven't been really doing so face-to-face, so yeah. These times are rare for me, being a certified homebody and all. But this is the next-best-thing to keep my sanity in check (aside from swimming in the wonderful land of the 'Netz) and I'll take what I can get. Besides, it made my day a bit better.

And I'm not sad about being single for 21 years (going on 22) now. Well, I stopped caring when I knew that I had Accounting to worry about, but whatevs. At least I'm happy. :D

Hope you have a happy heart today too! :)

 

What's your 25 Random Factoids?

Here's mine:

1. I love knowing things. Kahit useless. I don't know why but it's nice to know that I understand some part of something. Anything. Kaya nga gumawa din kayo nito para masaya. :D
2. I spend too much time on the internet, reading blogs and stories of other people just because. (Um...stalker much? Haha.) And I'd much rather do that than pick up my textbooks, unfortunately.
3. I haven't played my cousin's guitar for more than a year now.
4. I have a phone interview for a co-op placement in God-knows-where, Ontario and I'm not yet prepared...
5. ...and that's because I procrastinate. A lot...
6. ...which is why I try to counterbalance it by doing other things instead of the most important ones (i.e. ACCOUNTING) (also known as "productive procrastination", coined by my cousin dearest lol.)
7. I love high school! :D But I can remember just the good times mostly (it's all about the good times anyway hehe!)
8. I LOVE crime shows (Dexter! CSI!) and goofy-geeky shows and movies (Flight of the Conchords! Napoleon Dynamite!)
9. I only go out with people a) I know well, and b) I like.
10. I like to stay at home and surf or watch TV.
11. Almost 22 years and counting... (go figure HAHA!)
12. Yesterday, I was going to write a poem using anagrams from my name (useless and self-centred I know. I was bored!). But I got tired looking over 60,000+ sentences that mostly didn't mean anything. I will resume some other time...
13. I am in the middle of three books that are gathering dust on the bookshelf, and have more lined up for me to read when I have time...
14. I usually rely on my brother for fashion advice. And some music, too. :D My obsessive Limewire-downloading phase has passed so I'll let him do it. (And yes, he has better taste in these things than I do, as much as I hate to admit LOL.)
15. I want a good co-op placement for the summer/next fall. :C My goal is to save up all the money from all my work terms to pay for my 'ucking tuition for the next year! Para walang utang sa gobyerno bwahaha~
16. BUT! I have to keep my GPA up and I'm worried about Accounting. :C *deth*
17. Anything that has to do with 1) numbers (unless it's basic arithmetic), and 2) programming is a pain in my butt. (So why did I pick ITM?)
18. Hence, I still don't know what I want. But if this is where I'm supposed to be right now, I'm staying...
19. I dance-y music lately. :D
20. I can't swim to save my life, but I WANT TO. T^T I feel out-of-place when my friends want to go swimming. I do kind of know how to float (so will that help?).
21. I prefer to write than to speak. That's because it gives me more time to think and allows me to edit things. I tend to ramble and sometimes be too blunt when I talk...
22. I've only been seriously drunk three times in my whole life.
23. For drinks, I like coffee, tea and lukewarm water. And I miss calamansi juice (hot ones are good cold remedies!)
24. I still dream of being a rockstar. How and when that will happen I have no clue. (Prolly just in my dreams. The calling for a stable job is much more important right now...)
25. I sometimes say "LOL" out loud when I find something amusing.

LOL!

http://whipstitched.multiply.com/journal/item/1073/Open_letter_to_fellow_high_school_students_of_Quesci_and_alumni?replies_read=12

Maawa na kayo sa ating school.

Salamat ng marami!

Hmm...these past two days have been very interesting, with regards to daily life. (No, there's no love-related bullshit here.)

Pero kapag may mga araw na seemingly "sineswerte" ako, at the back of my mind, nagiging paranoid ako. xD

Dahil pag winter bumabagal ang aking metabolismo and hence, ang aking pagkilos (LOL! Lame.), e lagi ako ng nalalate sa school...

At kahapon, nung nagmamadali akong pumasok sa Macroecon ko dahil 5 minutes late na ko may narinig akong may nagusap na dalawang nilalang sa daan at nagsabing "Class was cancelled!". Aba, naisip kong "kaklase ko kaya 'to?"

Sure enough pag dating ko sa lobby ng Library building, nakita ko yung ka-program ko na kaklase ko rin at sinabi niyang cancelled nga ang klase. Aba'y ayos! Nabisita ko pa yung pinsan ko sa workplace niya at nakichismis sandali bago ako nagpunta sa mock interview ng hapon (which turned out okay. Mabait yung co-op student na nag-interview sa'ken pero kelangan ko talagang mag-improve...Ugh. Masyado akong kabado. :\)

Tas ngayon naman sakto lang ang pagpasok ko sa ITM 407 class after kong malate ng 10 minutes (may grace period kasi na 10 minutes haha~ Tangina.), tas after 1 hour biglang nag-fire alarm! LOLOLOL V. INTERESTING! Balak ko na sanang di pumasok kanina dahil naiwan ako ng train at mga 20 minutes na lang bago magpasukan, pero yun naman pala maca-cancel din. Hindi na rin kami pinabalik ng prof dahil less than 1 hour na lang yung natira sa oras namin.

Last week naman e sobrang malas ng week ko dahil 1) ayoko pang pumasok (first week ng Winter term), 2) first day - nasira ang subway, so hindi ko napasukan ang Macecon, and 3) na-miss ko yung mock interview ko para sa co-op namin. Basta panget. And supposedly mas malas ang mga araw na ito dahil "the moon is in retrograde", ayon kay Chuvaness (lol). Oh well. E usually pag may magandang nangayari sa'ken, expected ko nang may mangyayaring kamalasan (kahit yung mga trivial, everyday things).

Oh well, sana hindi na maging malas ang mga susunod na araw...

Kinakabahan pala ako sa pag-aapply sa mga co-op postings dahil kung hindi malayo yung aapplyan ko, may kailangang programming knowledge. And, I HATE programming. Kung sa Visual Basic nahirapan nako, pa'no pa sa C++ etc.? Hay, buhay.

Anywho, aayusin ko na resume ko dahil malapit na deadline mga co-op positions. Good luck na lang sa'ten, at sa inyo din dahil thesis na lang kayo! :)